The feeling of failure does not come from absolute failure but from the pain we interpret as a failure. Failure is inevitable, and if you can’t handle it — like all other painful emotions — everything becomes more challenging, and the world seems like a more sinister and less forgiving place. If you’ve been working hard on something for a while, and it isn’t going well, you may be tempted to feel like a failure. But you have to fight that feeling. This article is an attempt to learn from your mistakes rather than repeat them. Hopefully, you will be able to learn from the other side of the coin as well.
Determining the reasons why you feel like a failure
How do you determine if a failure is a failure? There are a few tests you can use to see if something has indeed gone wrong and if the outcome would have been different had things been handled differently. First, examine the facts of the matter. Was the action taken well? Were you prepared for the outcome? If not, then it’s likely that the outcome wasn’t what you wanted. Next, ask yourself if the outcome would have been different had things been handled differently. If the answer is yes, you have seen evidence that acting differently could have prevented the failure.
How Do You Treat Yourself
When you feel like a failure, what do you do? The wrong thing might be to give up altogether. It would be wrong to let fear make you give up on your goals. It would be wrong to give up on trying new things no matter how small they seem. Sometimes you have to take a risk. Sometimes you have to take a step sideways instead of forward. The key is to know when it’s time to take a step back and regroup for another try. Life is full of these opportunities where you have to take a step back to recharge your batteries before moving forward with a new venture. It can be hard to recognize when to slow down or take a breather, but these moments are necessary to grow and improve.
It takes time to build up your self-discipline
When you feel like a failure, what do you do? Do you give up? Try again tomorrow? Give up all hope? Surrender your dignity? These are both ineffective and unhealthy ways to handle failure. Instead, it would help if you thought about what happened and how to avoid it in the future. It is hard work that requires practice – but it is necessary to avoid setting yourself up for failure in the future. To avoid this, you will need to focus on making minor improvements day by day instead of panicking about what might happen if you fail. Look at what happened yesterday as an opportunity to learn and improve.
Be graciously disciplined, embrace failure
When things aren’t going as expected, acknowledge your emotions. Gratitude is a good thing. When you feel like you’re failing (even if you aren’t), remember that it’s not always permanent. Remember that failure is an opportunity to learn and improve. Sometimes what just isn’t working out will turn out to be an essential stepping stone — one you can use to get closer to success. Sometimes it will just be a day or two of walking gingerly along the shoreline with a life jacket thrown over your shoulder.
Set goals, not deadlines
When you feel like a failure or when things aren’t going as expected, instead of deciding what’s next, focus on what’s done already. What’s achieved? Is there more work to do? Are you happy with how things are going? If so, keep going! If not, re-evaluate your objectives and what’s still missing. Getting a new job or changing careers can feel like a failure. But the fact is most people who try new things fail the first time around. Learn from those who have succeeded and try again.
Self-discipline is like a muscle
When you feel like a failure, or there isn’t much chance of success, resist the temptation to give up. Instead, use that feeling to motivate you to work harder and better in the future. When you feel like giving up, remember all the things you’ve been through before, where it felt impossible and how close they were to falling apart. And then imagine how far you’d be if it weren’t for those setbacks. And once you stabilize, the clarity comes back, and you realize you were only struggling because you weren’t applying the proper pressure—or applying the right muscle.
It is about self-discipline. What do you do when you feel defeated, discouraged, or worthless? Do you curl up in a ball and refuse to look at the sky, or do you fight through the feelings and force yourself to keep going? It is about identifying what is stopping you from achieving your goals and fighting against those thoughts. Let’s say you want to be a writer. You decide to give up playing tennis or drinking coffee because you are too distracted by how bad you are at both activities. What would happen next? Do you think that would solve the problem? Probably not. The same thing would happen if you told yourself that you could never achieve something no matter what you tried. Fulfillment doesn’t happen by magic. You have to put in the hard work and time required to achieve your goals.